I Want to Remember You
by fandombomb
Summary: Dean and Cas get chased out of the back of a brothel and pull over on the way back to meet Raphael.


Dean and Cas ran out the back of the brothel, trying to avoid the angry owner who chased them down the hall to the door. To much of Cas's surprise, Dean had started howling with laughter. Cas lowered his eyebrows and shot Dean a questioning look, who failed to notice it.

"Jesus, Cas, I haven't laughed like that in so long. Years, even," Dean noted when he finally got his breath back. He got into the driver's side of the Impala with a smile on his face as Cas slid into the passenger's side. The car started to purr, contentedness settling in Dean's chest as he and Cas took off back to where they were to wait for Raphael. Dean's face grew more somber, thinking of how happy he felt tonight, how he hadn't felt like that in so long, and how he was afraid he would never feel like that again, not knowing what could come from the night ahead. "Thanks, Cas," Dean said through the dim light in the car.

"For..what, Dean?" Cas asked, still fuzzy on why Dean was so happy from them getting chased out of the back of a brothel.

Dean thought for a moment. "Everything, I guess," he said at last, the corner of his mouth turning up. He held the wheel with his left hand, reached over with his right, and grasped Cas's shoulder tight, not wanting to let go. He thought of the handprint burned into his shoulder, in the same place where his hand was now on Cas, and released his grip on him. Before his hand hit the seat, though, Cas caught and began to study it. He looked at the wrinkles of Dean's palm, the bumps of his knuckles, the curve under his thumb, the pads of his fingertips…

"Cas, uhm…what are you doing?" Dean asked, shooting Cas a look.

"I want to remember you," the angel began. "I don't know what's going to happen tonight, but if I live, I may not be able to see you again. Heaven will not be happy with me, Dean."

Dean realized Cas had dropped his hand and was staring at his face now. At the stubble on his face, the sharpness of his jawline, the wrinkles around his eyes when he smiled…Dean looked back at Cas, his mouth widening into a closed-mouth smile at Cas until-_oh shit Dean you're still driving watch where the road is. _Knowing Cas would not let this go, and Dean wanted to spend as much time as possible with the angel before they had to go back to the house, he slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the empty moonlit road. He turned the Impala off, even though it was cold enough to need the heat on. For some reason Dean couldn't find, he wanted to just feel the heat Cas was giving off amongst the cooling air in the car. He turned his face to the angel, who was still studying him. A smile crept across Cas's face as the rest of the hunter's face came into the light. He stared into Dean's eyes, who couldn't tell if Cas was trying to commit the color to memory or just stare into them, weaving their gazes together. Dean saw Cas's eyes flutter to his cheek and his jawbone again, the side facing away from him while Dean was driving.

"Dean…can I…" Dean saw Cas's hand move slightly on the span of seat between them.

"Yes, Cas," Dean answered quietly. Dean closed his eyes for a second, until he felt the light touched of Cas's fingertips on his cheek, and his palm coming up to cup his jaw, the small touches sending heat through Dean in the cooled air of the car. Cas's fingers slid along Dean's neck, sending a shiver through Dean as Cas pulled his hand closer to Dean's chin. Dean felt his cock move in his pants from the small touches from Cas, and felt a little guilty because it seemed at first Cas just wanted to study him. Cas took his chin between his first finger and thumb, stroking first the curve under Dean's lip, before running his thumb along his bottom lip. Dean stared at Cas, studying his expression, finding it hard to believe this was really happening. He wanted Cas since he had first met him, but was afraid Cas did not feel the same way, or that a relationship between an angel and a human would be severely punishable. Dean didn't know which was worse. As the angel brushed the pad of his thumb over both of Dean's lips, the hunter pushed them forward, placing a gentle kiss on Cas's thumb. Cas drew in a small, sudden breath at the touch, and moved to take away his hand.

"Shh, it's okay Cas," Dean tried to reassure as he caught Cas's wrist before he could move his hand away. The angel's eyes were wide, staring at Dean with an innocence that made the hunter's heart pound in his chest. It was unusual for Cas to look so young, but Dean found that he loved seeing Cas like this, with much of his blue eyes being consumed by blackness as his pupils widened in excitement (_was it excitement? _Dean thought, _maybe it was simply wonder_). Cas was frozen in Dean's grip, clearly not knowing what to do next. The hunter released Cas's wrist, leaned in closer, and whispered, "don't worry," as he tipped up Cas's chin with his first finger and pressed his lips to the angel's.

The kiss was gentle, as Dean did not want to scare Cas away. It seemed Cas had just remembered where his hand sat nestled on the hunter's jaw, because just as Dean was thinking of pulling away, Cas's hand slid to the back of Dean's neck and settled at the base of his skull, pulling Dean closer, pushing Dean's lips harder onto his own. Dean let out a surprised moan at the action, and ran his hand up the angel's thigh, settling at his hip, eliciting a choppy exhale through Cas's nose, and a grabbing at Dean's hair in the back. Dean pulled back from the kiss just enough to get Cas's bottom lip between his teeth, his tongue darting across the flesh pinned there. Cas moved his left hand, neglected until now, to Dean's thigh, grabbing sharply at the jean-covered flesh in response. Dean felt his cock jump in his pants and let Cas's lip slip from between his teeth to breathe out, "Cas.." Dean took the angel's mouth again, teasing Cas's tongue with his own. Cas quickly understood what he should do, and toyed with Dean, feeling him unraveling in his hands. Dean wouldn't let him win _that _easily, though.

The hunter grabbed the knot of Cas's tie with his right hand, and began to shove off the trench coat and suit jacket with his left. Cas moved to let the coat be pushed off and grabbed at Dean's jacket, trying to mimic his movements. Dean was more than happy to help him with that, pulling away to wrangle off his jacket and throw it and the trench coat in the back seat. He caught Cas's eye and let out a weak, airy chuckle before placing a gentle kiss on Cas's lips, his hand grazing over the angel's cheek, fingers enjoying the stubble under them. Dean pulled away to kiss down Cas's jaw, nipping lightly when he got close to his ear. The skin of Cas's neck felt hot under Dean's lips. He sucked the fleshy part of Cas's neck. The angel let out a whiny moan, making the hardness in Dean's pants strain against the confining zipper. Dean dug the heel of his palm on the hard bulge of Cas's pants as he scraped the skin of the angel's neck with his teeth.

"Dean…" Cas breathed out.

"Shh, lean back Cas," Dean said as he turned Cas's shoulders to face him forward and pushed him back against the seat of the Impala. The hunter swung a leg over Cas's legs to straddle him, and put the angel's hands on his hips, grinding down onto Cas. The angel bit down on his lip at the new friction, and started to push up Dean's shirt. He needed to see more of Dean's skin, this desire being fulfilled when Dean stripped himself of his shirt, throwing it in the back seat along with the jackets. Without missing a beat, Dean went to Cas's shirt, expertly undoing the buttons and pushing the material off Cas's shoulders, leaving the tie around his neck. Dean pressed his lips to Cas's collarbone while bringing a hand up to pinch Cas's nipple between his fingers. Cas cupped the back of Dean's head with a hand, scraping his nails down to Dean's neck, sending a shiver through him while the other hand tried again to mimic Dean's movements by brushing his fingertips over Dean's nipple.

"God..Cas," Dean let out as he shifted, putting his leg between Cas's, letting his knee pressure Cas's crotch as he straddled his right leg. Cas rolled the nipple between his fingers as Dean latched his mouth onto one of Cas's, sucking it into his mouth. Cas exhaled a heavy breath, and pulled Dean closer in an attempt to get more friction from Dean's knee between his legs. Dean gave in and pushed his knee against Cas, who let out a strangled moan and buried his face in Dean's shoulder. Cas followed his instincts and let his hands fall to Dean's belt, clumsily undoing the buckle, but stumbling over the button, he dropped his hands.

"Here…don't be nervous," Dean said, bringing Cas's hands back up to his zipper, and leaning into them. He told Cas not to be nervous, but he was incredibly nervous himself. Dean didn't know how far he could go with Cas-what would make him uncomfortable, what he wouldn't like-but he knew he wanted this more than anything. Cas undid the button and pulled down the zipper as Dean tried (and horribly failed) to slow his breathing. He felt Cas's touch ghost over the hardness that now ached, tucked into the bit of jeans still hanging off Dean's hips. He stopped for a moment, and moved to focus his attention on Cas, grappling with the top of his pants as he licked at Cas's collarbone. Cas breathed heavily into his ears as Dean got his hand between fabric, feeling the wetness that soaked Cas's boxers, matching the spot that wet his own. Dean gripped the length of Cas's cock, slowly moving his fingers to the head. Like Cas ran his thumb under Dean's lip, Dean ran his thumb under the head of Cas's dick. He looked to Cas for a reaction, and found Cas looking back at him, staring into him with pleading eyes and his mouth slightly open.

"Dean, please…" Cas begged. Dean never liked to admit it, but he_ loved_ when people begged him. Giving in, Dean reached under the fabric of Cas's wet boxers and took hold of his cock, making Cas gasp at the touches. Cas was frozen in pleasure for a moment before realizing Dean's own hard length was right in front of him. Without warning, Cas reached into Dean's slightly open pants and grasped the hard flesh he found, sending Dean jerking forward into Cas's hand, looking for more friction. Cas pulled on Dean's cock messily, secretly loving the reactions he got when he focused his attention on the head. Dean stopped his hand, pulled it close to his face, and spat on his fingers. Carefully, he brought the fingers back to the tip of Cas's cock, and smoothed the little pool of spit over it. Cas's head tilted back, and his eyes closed at the feeling of Dean's slick fingers sliding over him. Dean desperately wanted to taste the angel, to have him in his mouth, and have the taste linger after they had finished and were back on the road again. But he knew Cas wouldn't last long enough for Dean to tease him how he pleased if he just took the entire length of Cas into his mouth. Dean gave one last squeeze and took his hand from Cas's pants, making a whine escape from Cas's throat.

"It's okay baby, lie down," Dean said. What prompted him to say "baby", he didn't know, but nonetheless he helped Cas lie back on the Impala seat, and pulled both of their pants off, his own pair after Cas's. Dean could tell Cas felt exposed, so he crawled up, brushing over Cas's cock with his thigh, pulled on the tie to bring Cas's mouth closer, and kissed the angel's lips gently, reassuring him that he was safe with Dean. The hunter slid his hand down the angel's side, loosely stroking Cas's hardness when he got to it.

"Dean…please?" Cas asked in a soft voice that made him sound venerable under Dean, which went straight to Dean's cock. Dean pressured Cas's mouth in another kiss as he pushed his hips down, matching the force of his lips. The hunter moved his hand to the angel's thigh, squeezing as he pushed it to the side and back, partially exposing Cas's ass. Dean worked his way down, kissing down Cas's neck as his hand moved down to cup and grab his ass.

"Don't worry, Cas..gonna take care of you…" Dean murmured against Cas's skin. He kissed down Cas's chest, stopping at a nipple for a brief second, sending Cas jerking his hips up looking for attention. Dean's lips stretched into a smile as he continued down the angel's stomach, hovering over Cas's hardness until he took just the head into his mouth. Dean sucked softly at first, tasting the precome. He swirled his tongue on the tip while he put down a firm hand to hold Cas's hips to the seat. Cas wanted more, and laced his fingers in Dean's hair, pulling hard and trying to push Dean's mouth farther down, but was unsuccessful. As Dean continued, the angel was reduced to moans and gasps, and Dean knew it was time to pull away, even if he didn't want to. He let the head pop from his mouth, and looked up at Cas with a half-smile and fire in his eyes. The hunter silently pushed Cas's knees as far to the angel's chest as they would go, and brought Cas's hands up to hold them in place. Dean palmed the flesh of the left of Cas's ass as he kissed down the angel's right thigh, getting closer to the pinkness of Cas's hole. Dean noticed Cas had closed his eyes and turned his head to the left, resting it against the passenger's side door, feeling incredibly exposed to Dean in this position. The hunter noticed Cas's closed eyes, and stopped what he was doing.

"Cas, look at me," Dean commanded. Cas's eyes flew open to meet Dean's, loving the roughness in the hunter's voice. "Don't worry, you're gonna love this, sweetie," Dean said. _Sweetie? _Dean thought. What the fuck had gotten into him? "Just keep your eyes on me," Dean instructed into the meat of Cas's thigh. He continued his trail inward as Cas kept his eyes locked on Dean's head, moving closer to the heat of his ass. Dean flashed his eyes up to meet the angel's once more, and gave a smile before leaning in and darting his tongue across the pink pucker of Cas's hole. The angel jumped at the new sensation and looked down to find a concerned Dean staring back at him. _Maybe this was too much, maybe I went too far. Shit shit shit, you really fucked this up now, _Dean told himself.

"Cas, I'm-" Dean began.

"Dean, more..please, more…" Cas returned, lacing his fingers in Dean's hair again, pushing the hunter back towards where he wanted him. Dean felt his cock throb under him at the neediness in Cas's words, and tried not to hump down into the seat for relief. The hunter excitedly licked at Cas, enjoying the taste of him. Dean sealed his mouth around the hole and tried to slowly push his tongue in as Cas tried to push down onto it. Dean moved his mouth away to kiss the thicker part of Cas's ass spread out before him. The angel let out a breath of protest, and Dean brought his right hand up to Cas's mouth.

"Relax, baby," Dean told him, his fingers swiping over Cas's bottom lip. "Suck," he told the angel, sticking the fingers in Cas's mouth. Cas eagerly pulled the entirety of Dean's fingers into his mouth, coating them with saliva. Dean moved back to Cas's hole, wet from his tongue, and found it much easier to get his tongue inside now. Dean felt the angel move his tongue along his fingers, which made him moan into Cas's flesh. Dean looked up at Cas, who was happily taking Dean's fingers to the base, and thought of his cock in Cas's mouth, his lips stretched around, his deep blue eyes staring up at him through dark lashes…Dean felt his dick move against the seat at the thought, and the hunter pulled his fingers from Cas's mouth. He pressed an index finger down onto the now reddened and saliva-coated flesh, and slowly pushed it in, working past the outer ring of muscle. He felt Cas tighten around his finger.

"It's alright," Dean said, kissing the angel's thigh. "Relax...I've got you, don't worry.." Dean whispered as he pulled his other hand up to run it over the angel's hardness. Cas gasped and tried to simultaneously jerk up into Dean's hand and push down onto his finger. Dean pushed farther into Cas and crooked his finger, hitting just the right spot that made the angel pull up off the seat. Dean pulled most of his finger out, then thrust it back in all at once, teasing the angel's ass by specifically not touching where Cas needed him most. Dean eyed the precome dripping onto the angel's stomach, desperately wanting to lick it up again, but he was afraid he wouldn't be able to stop himself if he started.

"Dean," Cas breathed out, pulling Dean out of his thought. Cas didn't need to finish the thought-Dean pulled his finger out, put another alongside it, and spat on them both, crossing them and slowly pushing them into Cas. Dean felt the tightness around his fingers, and thought of how amazing Cas would feel around his cock, but he looked up to see the angel's face twisted in a mixture of pain and pleasure, snapping back to look at Dean when he suddenly remembered his instructions. It was then that he thought of it. Dean pulled the digits out of where they were buried to move up, shuffling on his knees on the floor of the car to near Cas's head, reaching in the glove compartment. _Fuck __**yes**__,I'll have to thank you later Sammy, _Dean thought as he pulled out a little bottle of lube. Always the boyscout, it was not surprising that he would stash lube in the car, it was only surprising Dean did not think of it until now, being caught up in the moment-caught up in Cas. Cas rested his feet on the seat of the car as Dean turned the angel's face to him, planting a kiss on his lips. The hunter pulled away to squeeze a bit of lube on his palm, and looked into Cas's slightly confused face as he reached down and squeezed Cas's cock, smoothing over the hardness, eliciting little gasps from Cas, who stared down at Dean's hand. The hunter moved his hand to his own cock, tugging with his still-slick hand. Cas's pupils widened as he stared at this sight, Dean loving how the angel swallowed hard when he brushed his fingers over the head of his own cock, like he did Cas's. Dean had to stop himself, and squeezed more lube onto his fingers after pushing Cas's knees back.

He went right for it-pushing two crossed fingers in right away, twisting them out and then shoving them back in more roughly, uncrossed and side-by-side. He hit just the right nerves to make Cas throw his head back and moan into the cool air in the car. Dean loved the sounds he was able to get from the angel, and he wanted to talk dirty to him, to tell him how much he wanted him to beg him to come, how much he wanted to taste his come in his mouth, and how much he wanted to hold him down and fuck the life out of him because _fuck Cas, you're so beautiful and I've been wanting this for so long…wanting to hear you moan my name and come so pretty for me, only for me…wanting to tease your cock to make you come so hard you can't see straight and then have you do the same to me…to see your pretty mouth take my cock and love the taste of me in your mouth…fuck, Cas…_

But Dean was afraid to say any of this because he didn't know how Cas would react, so he bit down on his lip and drove his fingers into the angel, spreading him wider to force a third finger in. Cas rocked down on the new addition, loving feeling Dean's slick fingers stretching him open painfully but oh, so sweetly. Dean tried to spread his fingers inside of Cas to resist grabbing his own cock and coming right then and there.

"Dean..please…I need more.." Cas pleaded. "More.." he repeated.

"Are you sure Cas?" Dean asked, unsure that the angel would be able to take it so quickly. "I don't want to hurt you..."

"Yes, Dean..I'll be fine," Cas tried to sound confident. "Please," he begged, flashing pleading blue eyes at Dean. "Fuck me.."

Dean never thought he would hear those words from the angel's mouth, but they were all he needed to make him obey. Dean grabbed the small bottle and squeezed more on his fingers, smoothing it over his cock. Cas bit down on his lip, watching as Dean gave a few extra pulls, unable to resist. Dean went to line up with Cas, but reached to the back seat, grabbing the trench coat and balling it up. He tapped Cas to lift his ass and shoved the jacket under, putting him at a better angle. Dean took a deep breath and slowly pushed the head of his cock into Cas, who looked down at him with a strained expression but bliss in his eyes. The angel wrapped his legs around Dean's hips, trying to pull him closer, push Dean farther in. Dean thrust forward before pulling almost all the way out, making Cas whimper under him. He grabbed Cas's hips, digging his fingertips into the soft skin, and snapped his hips forward, loving how tight and hot Cas was around him. Dean shifted his hips, wanting to hit that spot to make Cas let out those beautiful little gasps and whines, begging Dean for more.

"Dean…_fuck…_" the angel got out in between heavy breaths. Dean felt like he wouldn't be able to last, and thrust harder into Cas with every moan the angel made. The hunter leaned down to Cas's neck, dotting it with bites and kisses as he slowed his hips. He snaked his hand between their moving bodies and scooped up as much of Cas's precome as he could. Dean put the wet fingers to Cas's mouth. The angel sucked the fingers in, moaning around them. Dean leaned down close to Cas's ear, and slowed his hips even further.

"You like tasting yourself on my fingers, Cas?" Dean whispered, a little nervous at first. The angel let out a heavy breath through his nose and nodded his head helplessly. Dean licked and bit at Cas's earlobe, sending little shivers through him. Cas reached down and squeezed Deans ass with his left hand, massaging the flesh with his fingertips. "Fuck, Cas," Dean moaned into Cas's ear and pulled the tie to the side, pinning it to the seat and holding it tighter around Cas's neck. "Wanna make you come…wanna fill up your ass with _my_ come…want you to squirm under me.." Dean's hips picked up the pace, cock thrusting into Cas more roughly, messily. "Want you to moan just for me, only for me…"

"Dean," Cas's voice was strong and powerful. He pulled Dean's face from his ear and made him look straight into his eyes. Dean looked innocent, staring back with a shocked expression, wondering what had suddenly gotten into the angel, and worrying that maybe he said something he shouldn't have. Cas looked back into Dean's eyes and commanded, "_do it, then._"

"God, Cas," Dean moaned out, pushing into Cas harder and faster than before, gripping the angel's hips tighter and rougher than before. Cas wriggled under Dean, wanting to shift in just the right way so Dean's cock would hit him just the right way. The angel found it, tipping up on the pulsing cock inside him and let out a whiny moan at the feeling which, in any other situation Dean would have found pathetic, but when it came out of Cas's mouth he only felt his chest heave, getting closer to filling up Cas. The angel's breaths picked up as he sweated under Dean's fingers, until his breath came short and shallow from his head thrown back. Dean saw this and took the angel's throbbing hardness in his hand, smearing the wetness over the head and pulling on the shaft.

"Come on, Cas, _come for me_," Dean commanded. The hunter didn't have a chance to get his breath back before Cas tightened around him and shot hot over his hand, covering the angel's stomach. "Fuck, baby, yes, Cas.." Dean moaned out as he felt he couldn't hold it together any longer and came in the angel's tight ass, shooting his load into him. The hunter shuddered through the final waves and pulled out of Cas. Dean looked at his stretched hole, at what he had done to the angel, put his mouth on it and sucked, trying to lap out a wad of this own come, tasting a mixture of Cas and himself. Dean savored the taste and swallowed the bit down, moving up to Cas's stomach to lick up the angel's come as Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean moved up, grabbing at the tie and pulling Cas up by it again, crashing their mouths together. Dean wanted him to taste himself on Dean's tongue, to taste his ass and his come, mixed with Dean's. Cas sighed and leaned into the kiss, pushing further into Dean's mouth, licking over his tongue. The hunter moaned and slowly pulled his mouth away before placing another chaste kiss on Cas's lips. Dean didn't want to move, but there was simply not enough room for the both of them on the seat of the Impala. Dean put a knee on the seat between Cas's legs and went to raise himself off of Cas.

"Dean, I.." the angel stopped, cupping his hand around the hunter's head, pulling him down into another kiss. Cas kissed the hunter-_his _hunter-gently, making Dean's stomach nervous again. Dean knew exactly how Cas was feeling, and knew what he wanted to say, because he felt the same and wanted to say the same thing himself. Neither of them wanted to move, neither wanted to face what the night still had in store for them, and neither wanted to leave the other's side. Ever. Dean pulled away to look at the angel-_his _angel-with sleepy eyes, giving him a lazy smile.

"I know, Cas," he said, stroking Cas's stubble with a thumb. Dean reached up and placed a small kiss on Cas's forehead before leaning back off of him. Cas sat up, pulling the coat out from under him and sat up on the seat next to Dean. He put it in his lap and studied the stitching as Dean reached back for their clothes. Turning back, he noticed Cas staring at the trench coat in his lap and tried to decipher his expression. The angel looked sad, but also happy, like he was enjoying the moment too much, and was dreading leaving it. Dean put the clothes in his hand to his left and pulled part of the coat onto his own lap, studying it with a pained face, realizing he may not see it again. He looked to Cas's hands, the thumb of his left stroking along a seam in the lapel. Dean pulled his angel's hand into his own, stroking his thumb now instead of the coat. Cas let out a breath and leaned his head on Dean's shoulder, trying to put off their departure. Dean leaned his cheek on the top of his angel's head, closed his eyes, and sighed, not wanting to move-not wanting to leave and face Raphael. The hunter simply sat back and listened to his angel's breaths, slowing into the lull of sleep.

Dean imagined a life with Cas, going home to Sammy to Dean imagined a life with Cas, going home to Sammy to tell him Cas was part of the family, part of their lives forever. He imagined settling down in a nice house in a safe neighborhood. He heard the pitter-patter of footsteps followed by larger, heavier ones as an aged Cas chased a little girl in a pink dress through the kitchen as he looked on with a coffee in his hand and glasses on his nose. He imagined Christmas dinners with his and Sam's families, decorating a tree like they were never able to do as kids. He imagined watching Cas walk that girl, now grown and in a white dress, down the aisle, tears in their eyes. He imagined all sorts of impossible things. Things he could never have, but would always desire. His mind began to slip from his consciousness and into a dream state, content with just sitting there with his angel now, while he still could.


End file.
